REALLY BAD STUFF



REALLY BAD TOOLS


CUISINART MINI-PREP
So they say:  This little 250-watt workhorse comes in handy when a full-size food processor is unnecessary. As long as it works….The 3-cup work bowl is just right for making pesto or a salad dressing, and two receptacles in the lid have pinholes for one or two oils to stream into the bowl while the processor is blending a perfect emulsion. It's also ideal for chopping and grinding. Pressing the "chop" button deploys the sharp edge of Cuisinart's patented reversible blade to chop onions, herbs, or bread crumbs. 

EDITORS NOTE:  MY EXPERIENCE, IT’S A DISASTER -  I used it less than twenty times. In the spirit of making mine as painless a divorce as possible, I threw it in the trash as the blades separated from the center core.  Not a good idea for finger conservation.


THE WORST KNIFE SHARPENER - RUINATION  

Chefs-Choice 110 -and similar models by Edgecraft

“Their viewpoint:  The Edgecraft Chef’s Choice 110 Diamond Hone 3 stage professional knife sharpener is a must-have tool in any kitchen.  This professional, electric knife sharpener safely and quickly gives kitchen, sports, and pocket knives an incredibly sharp, long-lasting edge in seconds.  Why pay others to come in and sharpen your knives when you can do it yourself. With the Chef's Choice 110 electric knife sharpener, you will save time, money, and knives. 

EDITORS NOTE:  I disagree,  I sent my Model 110 back to the company with a letter, cordial, but told them they could take their product and give it to charity, employee of the month, Good Will, or natives in South America to sharpen their machetes with.  It is better to lose eighty dollars than ruin a 200 dollar knife. They never replied...



CHEFS CHOICE WARMER - DANGER OF SCALDING 

You have to be extremely cautious and not fill this device to anything close to their warning line.  

Many times even partially filled this device boiled over the spout and shot coffee, tea, boiling water over the counter.  In the photo above I have partially cleaned some of the mess when I took the picture.

I was reheating coffee from the morning and I make it perfectly clear that it was according to their gauge on the handle side of the pot that the level was 1/4 inch under the mark. It shot hot boiling coffer out the spout, all over the counter.   

It does what it says, it’s very fast,  almost with a violent sound, and other people wrote about the odor from the plastic are correct.  

EDITORS NOTE: This is the second product I have purchased with the brand name Chefs Choice and no Chef within a right mind would use it… it’s frickin dangerous.


FOOD GIZMOLOGY    WORST TV ADS AND PRESENTERS   

BUYING FROM THE TELEVISION IS ABOUT BEING NAIVE 

If you saw it on TV,  it probably sucks.  Based on information supplied by the Gremly-Ogden-Flugal Institute of Severe Hardship Internal Testing, (GOSHIT).  This rule encompasses certain TV ads that basically have triggers you can easily spot:   

🕵 The clue is when they tell you it is not available in stores. That means if you picked it up and handled it you would normally put it back and not buy it realizing what a cheap piece of Chinese crap it really is. 

🕵 And all those free extras they generously show in with the deal were there to begin with, more con.  And the corker is they give you “The But Wait Spiel”.  We’ll thrown in a second one free just pay the additional shipping and handling which is more than its worth.

🕵 When it takes a pitchman, American or Australia generally excitable, almost in the rhelm of having an orgasm in a blue button down shirt like the late Billy Mays and , 

mucho importante  (took Spanish in high school ) his sidekick, assistant, actress, potential affair and helper will be pumping excitable wows, great comments, the food is incredible, smacking with love and compliments ad nauseam and OMG,  juice ten decibels higher than the norm.  This combatant professes a strong desire to eat well, watch her calories and is totally amazed at everything she sees. It’s a con job. 

🕵 The host, a he or she might have an accent, usually an Australian accent, something your ears will pay attention to since you don’t hear it that often.  Thats why they do so well, you block the normal speech intonements and something unique grabs your attention.  Go back to Australia.

🕵 And it takes four weeks to deliver because it never was here in the states, it’s coming from China via cheap freight and the seller has no warehouse costs.



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